Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Please Remember ME

Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And your left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time
I had you with me
Though we go our separate ways
I won't forget so don't forget
the memories we've made

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
and you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me

Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
with just the memories
Who's to know what might have been
We'll leave behind a life and time
We'll never know again

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
and you were there for me
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Then remember, please remember me

And how we laughed and how we smiled
And how this world was yours and mine
and how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ran so fast, we ran so free
I had you and you had me

Please remember, please remember

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Tree As My Role Model

Tree as a role model�ever given a thought to that? Well...I did after I read it for the first time in my dear friend Maalok's profile. In times when each of us seeks very specific role models - woman seeking a woman role model, singer seeking a professional singer for role model......to choose tree as a role model does seem a little strange on first thoughts but as I was curious I decided to think over it and to see what I find. And so I began my contemplation in earnest.


What kind of model does a tree present to a human ? If I were to live like a tree - what could I learn from how the tree lives and leads its life on this planet.

Sitting by the shade of a tree, I pondered first at its physical appearance. The very first thing that strikes to me about the tree is its limitation - the fact that it is bound and almost chained to a portion of earth - the choice about which the tree could not make. However what makes the tree a source of inspiration is the fact that the tree never complains nor judges the richness or the poverty of the soil to which it is rooted. The tree extends its roots deep within the soil to draw the finest and the richest minerals and elements for its nourishment and growth irrespective of the type of soil. I immediately saw a lesson here for me if I chose tree to be my role model. Where I am born, under what circumstances and to whom I am born is not a matter of my choice, yet what I become is the result of choices that I make. It is up to me to extend the roots of resources that are available to me to draw the most and the best out of the circumstances and situations to which I am bound.

The verdant leaves of the tree provide cool shade while the tree itself bears the scorching heat of the sun. The tree bears so many riches - the fruits and the flowers - none of them for itself but to give and share them freely with all creatures without distinction. The insects and rodents and squirrels dig into its bark and roots and the tree lets them build their home. The free flying birds come and rest and make their nest, lay their eggs and abandon it later- the tree welcomes them as freely as it bids farewell to them. The humans pluck the fruits, the flowers, the leaves - the tree silently and lovingly lets them reap the riches it bears asking nothing in return yet continuing to produce and reproduce more and more. The tree produces for the 'soul' purpose of giving. Very valuable lesson for me I think - Whatever I create and bear as life's riches - love within, my creativity, creations of my efforts, my faculties and my talents if shared freely would give a grander and more divine meaning to my life and its riches.

The tree rooted to its center appears to sway with the wind but does it really ? The branches and leaves on the tree sway yet the tree stays put and grounded and is not uprooted whatever direction the wind blows and continues to weather the strongest and the most atrocious storm and wind it can. Yet another precious lesson here. If I am centered well in my 'self' then no circumstance, nothing and nobody has the power to sway me from the divine purpose of my life which is giving and sharing the riches that I create and bear. In fact only if I am centered will I have the capacity and capability of fulfilling the divine purpose of my life.

What does being centered in my 'self' entail and how do I ensure that I am centered in my 'self' ? Being centered in my 'self' means to ensure that my relationship to my own 'self' is not lost in the deluge of relationships with all others. For only when I nurture and nourish and protect my own 'self' or 'soul' will I be able to maintain and give to relationship with others. If I do not take care of my 'self' and 'soul', I lose my center and I will be easily swayed and uprooted by the changing winds of so many relationships, varying circumstances that flow through my life.

Continuing the process of contemplation, I thought, 'how does a tree react to the changing seasons?' Well, one thing the tree DOES NOT do is RESIST. The tree goes with the flow of the season, so to speak. Changing its hue and color of leaves, flowering pattern, fruition period with each season. It blooms and beams happy with fruits and flowers in spring. The same tree withers, droops and drops the dead leaves in autumn. The tree never pretends to bloom in autumn nor does it hide its happiness in spring. The lesson for me is to let myself and allow myself the freedom to acknowledge and express my feelings with changing season of emotions in my life. The feelings are neither good nor bad, they simply are. Just as the tree lets go of the blooming flowers in autumn while it celebrates their arrival in spring, I need to learn to let go of the loss that brings sadness and sorrow while still acknowledging and expressing the accompanying feelings. I also need to give myself permission and freedom to celebrate the cause of joy and happiness when I am happy.

There is indeed a lot to learn from a tree limited only by one's thinking and I for one am inspired enough to emulate the qualities that I was able to identify. And so is true about 'nature' that surrounds us � no correction ... of which we are an integral part a fact which we so often need to be reminded about.

Have you noticed how the tree behaves when it encounters an obstruction to its growth? When the way to its growth is blocked, the tree simply changes its path to the one that is free for its growth. It doesn�t resist or fight the obstruction but simply chooses another path. My role model seems to be telling me with its action - If you find the choice or the path that you are walking on is not contributing to your growth�to your highest good, all you need to do is to simply make another choice, choose another path. You do not have to condemn yourself for having made the choice that did not turn out right for you nor do you have to condemn the choice itself.

Another striking quality of the tree that I pondered on and found worth emulating is the fact that a tree always� always�always seeks light. Put a sapling or a growing tree under cover and away from light and it is amazing to see how the young tree invariably and inevitably spreads itself towards the direction of light. It is the very nature of �nature� to seek and absorb light. Without light the growth of a tree gets stunted. This creates the consciousness within me that keeping with the nature of nature of which I am an integral part and in the interest of my growth my endeavor must be to move away from darkness of ignorance and always seek the light of love and light of self-awareness and knowledge both of which will nourish my growth just as sunlight nourishes a tree and helps in its growth.

Extending my thoughts further on the �giving� aspect of the tree I notice that the tree �gives� to anyone who seeks its riches. The tree does not stop a traveler on her way and ask her to take shelter under its shade. So will I give only to those who come and seek my riches. For by allowing the receiver (of my riches) the choice of seeking, I respect her wishes before I give.

Irrespective of how many creatures derive benefit from its riches, the tree continues to be and produce and create its riches. The tree doesn�t produce more or less depending on the number of creatures that derive benefit from it. So will I continue to create myself and my creations and although I will do so with the purpose of sharing and giving all that I create, I will not be attached to the outcome of the purpose. In other words, irrespective of who and how many people and creatures benefit, I will continue to create.

The tree also strikes me with its state of loneliness. It stands bound to the soil all alone - as a hermit � in a state of blissful solitude. It does not seem to be sad or depressed about it. It stands alone and seems to be priding in its magnificence and reveling in its own glorious being and existence. It seems fulfilled in just being itself � a magnificent and glorious creation of God � a tree. I imbibed yet another valuable message while I continued to get absorbed in the inspiration� magnificence, glory and bliss can be found by simply being me � a human being !

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

Intezaar kab tak..

The night wind turns in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
I loved her, sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like these I held her in my arms.
I kissed her greatly under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could I not have loved her huge, still eyes.

I can write the saddest lines tonight.
To think I don’t have her, to feel I have lost her.

Hear the vast night, vaster without her.
Lines fall on the soul like dew on the grass.

What does it matter that I couldn’t keep her.
The night is fractured and she is not with me.

That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,
my soul is not content to have lost her.

As though to reach her, my sight looks for her.
My heart looks for her: she is not with me


The same night whitens, in the same branches.
We, from that time, we are not the same.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the breeze to reach her.

Another’s kisses on her, like my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body, infinite eyes.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but perhaps I love her.
Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long.

Since, on these nights, I held her in my arms,
my soul is not content to have lost her.

Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer,
and these are the last lines I will write for her.

Pablo Neruda

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The greatest legacy I will ever leave is choosing how well I live. I have learned that to create a living legacy I am proud of requires voluntarily assuming my role as a facilitator of positive personal change. I accept there is nothing naive, submissive or weak about supporting the ascendancy of the peaceful, cooperative, responsible and patient nature of my heart. In fact, I found that true power is choosing to stop pointing the egotistical finger of blame and responsibility outward. Real courage is turning the magnifying glass of assessment around because living each day as I want to be remembered has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with me.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Do take a look !!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=167786338222&ref=mf
To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.

When you have come to realize that you miss me.....i wont be missing you.

The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
Why people fall in love?

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it
happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why
some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and
causes, but you will never do anymore that take the life out
of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of
the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body,
love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions
and commonalities that two people share. And just as life
itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the
coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that
cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of
love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and
celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we
all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you,
celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happen to young people, they too often try to
grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a
gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of
love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,
they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather
than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They
want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other
person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change,
thinking that if some small things were different, love would
bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if
they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But
there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they
accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to
treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in
love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with
yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't
choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't
love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your
door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not
take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love
is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same
pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you,
and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to
assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a
meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All
you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it
comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person
who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it
poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long
without love, they understand love only as a need. They see
their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and
they begin to look at love as something that flows to them
rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as
their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.
They cease to be someone who generates love and instead
become someone who seeks love. They forget that the
secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to
grow only by giving it away.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its
own season, its own reason for coming and going. You
cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can
only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it
comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or
from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and
there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and
always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVE
FOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.

If you keep you heart open, it will come again...

I Miss You

I miss you when something really good happens,
because you are the one I want to share it with.
I miss you when something is troubling me,
because you are the one who understands me so well.
I miss you when I laugh and cry
because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow
and my tears disappear.
I miss you all the time,
but I miss you most when i lay awake at night
and think of all the wonderful times
we spent with each other;
for those were some of the best times of my life .

Attitude

(A story about positive attitude from an email forward )
Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood
and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him
how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be
twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed

him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters
followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the
employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry

and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of
the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and

say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be
in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in

a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a
victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept
their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I
choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes it is," Jerry
said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every

situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You
choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good
mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant
industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought
about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never
supposed to do in the restaurant business...he left the back door open
one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While
trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped
off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry
was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was
released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his
body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how
he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my
scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone
through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went
through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry
replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two
choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to
live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry
continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was
going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the
expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really
scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to
take action." "What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly
nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was
allergic to anything. 'Yes' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped
working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled,
'BULLETS!'

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me

as if I am alive, not dead'." Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his
doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him
that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

RISE

The strength to rise from the pain,
to continue at all cost,

The strength to prolong all the shame,

Knowing that you've lost, The strength to smile,

when all you feel is anger, to substitute bad days,

for the best ones you can remember,

The strength to say 'I'm lost' when your pride has blocked your sight,

to say 'please love me', though I've never done it right,

The strength to say you love them, knowing there may be no reply,

to stay by their sides at times, when all they do is cry,

the strength to try again after many times of failing,

to finally open up after many years of waiting,

The strength to fall in love, though sacrificing your heart,

to keep a loved one close while knowing you've grown apart,

The strength to say ' I love you' when all else has gone wrong

, to keep on waiting for you..... regardless of how long,

Thursday, July 16, 2009

i am tired of going to the waiting place honey

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Time




Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Clown


See the funny little clown, see the puppet on a string
Wind him up, he'll sing, give him candy and he'll dance
But be certain not to feel that his funny face is real

Step right up and see him folks, couldn't you die at all his jokes
Couldn't you cry at all the tricks, he'll come up with in a fix
But be certain not to stray 'cause he'll steal your heart away

I am a clown, I am a clown, clown
You'll always see me smile, you'll never see me frown
Sometimes my scenes are good, sometimes they're bad
Not funny, ha-ha, funny sad

I am a clown, look at the clown, clown
Always a laughing face whenever you're around
Always the same routine, I never change
Not funny, ho-ho, funny strange

Sometimes I think the world is a circus town
Sometimes I feel like a lonely inside show
Man on the flying trapeze, he ain't never comin' down
He knows what I know if you look inside
If I didn't hide, you might decide you don't want me

I am a clown, that's why I'm a clown, clown
Just like the fool on the hill beggin' to come down
I want to live again, oh, I want to feel
Tell me you love me, make me real

See the funny little clown, see the puppet on a string
Wind him up and he will sing, give him candy, he will dance
But be certain not to feel if his funny face is real

The greatest virtues are those which are most useful to other persons.
farce that we put up each day and spend the rest of the time believing in it

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Dream


Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you


After three eventful days, when i went to bed this morning (yeah morning! we returned at 4!) after the Vaishno Devi trip, i think i was too tired for dreams. Nevertheless this one was as perplexing as it was beautiful :)

I was really cold and uncomfortable in the bed. So I sit up and decide to watch some TV in another room, soon I fell asleep on the floor there. Reasons and logic not important: its a dream after all! So what I see is this girl, I had a huge crush on at school and till sometime later.So i see her sitting in my room, in a nice baby blue sweater, pressed against me, close enough to cause me discomfort |:o
lookin at me. :D

after all this time when all i saw of her, was a picture, which seldom changed on one of the social nets.The last conversation was brief, very brief, maybe even strange (for her of course!)
I take the liberty of mentioning this phone call, maybe the last wonderful communication in my memory. She had called that day, the winter in the new year of 2007.she wanted to talk about stuff, forms to fill, application details etc etc, I don’t remember the material of the conversation, how would I, with goose bumps and my stomach churning and all that on just hearing her! Anyhow, I wanted to prolong the convo, keep listening, keep talking. The twenty minutes that still bring a fine smile. She never called after that. She didn’t need me again I suppose or as the things turned out later sometime, I was myself down and out who would need me.

the silhouette was perfectly redrawn from the one etched in my memory ,how could have I mistaken..the overpowering effect of the presence was making me really uncomfortable.She isnt talking or doing anything. Just gazing in my eyes pressed against me.The same old beautiful eyes, luscious lips, the sexy raised cheekbones. And that mole above the lip.

and what was to follow?, of course a dumb response! I would have managed to screw it up like a perfect whacko psycho. That was it, overbearing.I guess I wisely chose to wake up else I spoil it yet again!!!!!! Wtf !! What the hell ? Man, y her, after like all was forgotten!! Strange are the ways. :)








subtle expressions of the unsaid

lots of things go unquestioned,
lots of questions go unanswered,
few words go unsaid
few go unheard

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So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger